It's her birthday and I can cry if I want to!

In about thirty-two minutes a special occasion will occur.  Not one that will be accompanied by fireworks, toasts, or loud cheering - though all of those would be fantastic - but rather accompanied by the soft snores of two little kids, a husband, and possibly her.

See in thirty-two minutes, when April 3rd begins on the West Coast, my best friend, Terina, will celebrate her thirtieth birthday.  Now I realize that this is our family blog and you are accustomed to seeing our kids in pictures and stories, with some Shelly-esque sappy commentary.  In reality this is no diversion from that.  Terina has been my best friend now for over 22 years.  For some of you reading this, it's your whole lifetime.  Even for me it feels like my whole life.  

I honestly don't remember when TJ and I first met.  She probably does.  I know it was sometime around our eighth birthdays.  I know it involved church activities.  Our parents at the time were also having dinner parties with a bunch of other couples they knew.  It could have been that.  

Regardless of that TJ and I made a connection that time has tested over, and over, and over again.  We've been through the ups and downs of life together.  It actually amazes me sometimes that we are still friends!  Then I think of all the million things that make up TJ and I remember why I haven't managed to live without her.

Here are a few:

* her honesty.  

* the adorably obnoxious way that she chews her food.

* her ability to play devil's advocate when I need it, without me asking for it.

* she dips her fries into her shake and finds that delicious.

* the way she twists her necklace or rings when she is nervous or anxious.

* that she gets wigged out when someone else is driving - except (usually) with me.

* our shared passion for old movies and musicals.

* T-Dees

* she's absolutely gorgeous.  And she looks kind of like my real best friend.

* the way she corrects when people say French words.

* Santa Barbara

* she is constantly munching on something.

* her height.  I love standing next to her and wanting to stand on my tip-toes.  It adds to her intrigue and her intimidation factor.

* her personal angst regarding the color pink.

* that we can talk for an hour, get off the phone, and then call back 15 minutes later to discuss something else.

* that she loves socks - especially decorative ones.  (just don't touch her feet)

* she thinks my sappiness is funny.  Wait till she reads this post!

* her craftiness.  She doesn't think she's crafty but you should see some of her cross-stitch. 

* my planned "surprise" birthday party.

* her one or two sentence emails to me throughout the day

* that I can probably guess exactly what she'll do and say when she reads this.  

The thing that I love most about Terina though, and that I value and celebrate almost every day, is that Terina has loved me and accepted me for who I am for all of our 22 years.  I am sure there were times as teenagers that we fought - I just don't remember them.  Instead I have all these incredible memories of trips to Santa Barbara, camping, Utah, double-dates (even when she didn't like my boyfriend!), late night movies, late night In-N-Out (or Applebees, or Denny's, or about 15 other places) and scary moments.  We've talked about sex, motherhood, sexuality, religion, being a spouse, dislikes, missing pieces, politics,  parenting lessons (or lack thereof), our spouses, our current books or TV shows.  You name it and we've talked about it.  

And each time I've come to her with a subject that I thought she'd be offended by, or alarmed by, or even close-minded towards, she has always proven me wrong.  The past few years I have seen her really chew on tough issues (in the same adorable way she chews her food!) and come to her own conclusions.  It has been breathtaking to watch.  And I am so lucky to be part of her 30 years.

Right now TJ lives WAY across this great continent.  We saw each other twice last year, the only two times we'd seen each other in three years.  Time doesn't seem to pass between us.  Except in writing this post - suddenly our 22 years of friendship seem very real.  It is hard to believe that we aren't the same two skinny, hyper, joy-filled girls that sat on the roof of your house, with your parents out of town, watching for boys and singing to Newsies.  Then again, we'd still do that!

My biggest birthday wish for Terina is one I'll discuss with her.  If I could though, here is what I'd send her for her birthday:

* 30 lbs of Jelly Bellys*

* 30 round trip tickets to international locations (figuring 1/2 of those would be to France)*

* me *

* $30 gift cards to Old Navy, that shoe store she loves, Target, WalMart, Etsy, and Shabby Apple. *

* 30 hours of Molly Maid cleaning service *

* 30 round-trip tickets to national locations (figuring 2/3 of those would be from there to here) *

* 30 hours of couples massage *

* 30 fresh-cut daffodils with 30 bulbs to plant for next year *

* 30 lbs. of real Swiss chocolate (not the 'crap' that we like here in the US)* 

* 30 new flip-flops *

* a selection of 30 new books - which she'll breeze through *

* me *

Happy Birthday TJ.    I love you.